Vampire Birth Certificate (2009)

This 2009 short by Brian Horn is mildly funny, but far from great entertainment.

There is no real message to this story, and throughout its three minutes running time the story just stays pretty flat, with no tension, arc of suspense, or turn or reveal at the end. What we get at the end is the kind of “twist” that you would expect in a mediocre SNL sketch and that has not really anything to do with the rest of the film.

In addition, the scripted dialogue just has not enough “sting”.

Short film is an art form where everything should be delivered in a condensed manner, i. e. ideally every line has to be either important or very funny, etc.; and every fact and every glance mean something in relation to the plot, etc. Nothing of the kind can be found here. So this is really just a somewhat elaborate (or laboured) comedy sketch.

The positive aspects are that this short film looks pretty good, and that the acting is solid. The sole highlight is Tarvenia Jones as Wanda, who gives a brilliant performance, which unfortunately makes the interaction uneven as she overshadows her co-star Ian Pfister (who is by no means a bad actor).


There is for me little point to this film, but as everyone (except the writers) has given their best here, I would rate this 4 out of 10. And I am even tempted to throw in a whole extra point just for Tarvenia Jones’s performance.

Check out this short online if you like. Even as I am not enthusiastic, at a mere three minutes running time you could hardly call it a waste of time even if you did not like it.

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